Steamroller

A topologist comes home from work to find his wife and daughter wailing and sobbing buckets. A police officer, who was trying to console them, greeted the topologist with a somber expression. "I have terrible news for you," he said. "While at school, your son Dave was hit by a steamroller and squashed flat. We tried to contact you immediately, but you had left your office before we could reach you."

The mathematician spent a few minutes in horrified disbelief. "Did he ... did he die instantly? Was he taken to the hospital?"

"He died within the few seconds it took for the vehicle to run him over," the officer said. "He was in pain, but only for a short time. We need you to come down to the morgue."

So together they went to the city morgue. The officer watched as the mathematician was shown the body, a broken and flattened wreck. "Can you identify him as your son?" the police officer asked.

"No," said the topologist, "but I think I can identify a pair of antipodal points."

-- Scott Craver