Girls are Evil
Proof: Girls are evil
First we state that girls require time and money: Girls = Time x Money
And we know that time is money: Time = Money
Therefore: Girls = Money x Money
And because 'money is the root of all evil': Girls = (Evil)^1/2 x (Evil)^1/2
Conclusion: Girls = Evil
Note: A problem with this proof occurred to me immediately: Since evil is negative, the square root of evil must be imaginary, which would mean that money is imaginary, and therefore, by definition, so is time. Then I realized that, in my life at least, that's pretty much true.